There was a time when it was not considered polite to discuss fertility medications or that a couple was trying to conceive.
And there are times that I agree with that.
On the other hand, as a society we have become much more open. From my understanding of some of these treatments and therapies, they can be very draining emotionally and difficult. They can be very expensive. So it makes sense (to me) that one's friends and families be able to support a couple going through this process.
I found out last week that I have two sets of friends who are going the fertility med route. And there is a part of me that wishes for them, I hope you have twins.
I know it sounds crazy. I can't believe I'm saying it either. Twin pregnancies are automatically high risk. Lots of things can go wrong with a singleton pregnancy - so two are twice the risk.
Many moms of twins have to go on bed rest. Almost 50% of twins are born prematurely, and may have to spend time in the NICU.
And I also remember, exhausted a few days after my twins were born, asking my Mom - how do people do this? And also thinking that I would never wish twins (the work associated with twins) on anyone.
But I've slept since then.
I just know both couples will be fabulous parents. If they are able to have children, they will love and cherish them. It's not fair that some people are able to have children who shouldn't be parents - and others' who would be great parents are not able to be.
3 comments:
Fertility issues are very difficult. Thankfully, I got pregnant while going through the testing. I have a very good friends that have gone that route with different degrees of success. I would have to say that the most successful had twins (boy & a girl).
I completely agree with you on the twin thing. When you are going to spend that much time, money and emotions on getting pregnant it is better to have two and be done with it. :) However, my friend has admitted that the first year was the darkest part of their lives. Now that the twins are turning 2, it is much better.
ah, twins! You know I can relate. My twins were unplanned and unexpected. They turn 6 on Sunday, and I couldn't ask for anything more. It was so difficult at first, but now they have a constant best friend, playmate, unique twin bond. I couldn't ask for anything more. I wish that a friend or family member would have twins, so that I could take them overnight and rememeber what it used to be like!
BTW, you've been tagged!
FFG - that's why I'm a little hesitant about hoping that someone has twins. But as you note, it really has to do with the money, emotions and time. I think even one child can be very difficult for parents - and two can be as well.
Thanks christy! I knew you could relate! The funny thing is, a good friend of mine (with a 3 1/2 year old and a 1 and a half year old) is due with twins any day now. I'm already geared up to bring them dinner - but I might also do the overnight thing. We'll see.
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